BismillahirRahmanirRahim

HAVING GOOD MANNERS

Sohbet given by Sheykh Abdul Kerim el-Hakkani el-Kibrisi

Sunday 26 Jumad awal, 1426
July 3, 2005.
Osmanli Naks-i'bendi Hakkani Dergah, Siddiki Center, New York.


Auzu billahi min ash-shaitanir rajim
BismillahirRahmanirRahim
La hawla wa la quwwata illa billahil aliyil azim
Hasbinallah wa ni'mal wakeel

Selamun aleykum. Meded Ya Sayiddi, Ya Sultan Evliya,
Mevlana Sheykh Nazim al-Hakkani. Meded.


All prophets have been sent to the world to teach people how to
live. How to live in this world and what to expect and how to
prepare themselves for the hereafter. Holy Prophet (saw) has been
sent to this world to complete the good teachings, the good living,
learning the good lifestyle and to complete the good manners. The
reason of Holy Prophet's (saw) being sent by the Divine Order is
complete the good manners. That means up until the Prophet (saw),
all other prophets have been sent to teach manners to people,
because if there is no manner then there is no religion. If there is
no manner then there is no respect, if there is no manner then there
is no friendship, if there is no manner then there is no business,
if there is no manner then nothing happens. Everyone is taking it
lightly these days and that's why nothing is working today.

The manners start from seven years old until seventy years old. It's
never ending because every age is bringing something else to a man
that he didn't know before. Those children do not know so many
things now which the adults are knowing. They have to reach to
certain stations and they have to change that lifestyle that they
have learned as a child and they have to enter to a different
station. What are they going to do? How are they going to make that
transition? From where are they going to learn that? Either they are
going to learn from their parents or they are going to learn from
the schools where they educate themselves, or they are going to
learn from their friends. They didn't live before. So that's where
they are going to learn. Or, they are going to look at the olderly
people and they are going to say, "This man is older. So he must be
doing right. So let me follow."

But we are living in the 21st Century. So the doors of the manners
and the doors of good behavior have been broken. Sheytan broke down
the doors of good manners and good behavior in 1789. When the French
Revolution happened, that was a big hit to good manners and to good
disciplined ways. People wanted to live wild. They said, "No, we
don't want anything anymore." They tried to remove everything.
Slowly that didn't work. "Let's remove this too, let's remove that
too, let's remove this too". Now they don't have anything to remove
anymore. Still they are running to remove. What are they running to
remove now? They are running to remove the clothes that they are
wearing. Hmph! They are running in the streets now. Tomorrow you are
going to see in America more demonstrations. Why? They are going to
say, "Spain passed, Canada passed, everybody passed and America is
not still passing the gay and lesbian marriage rights?" You will see
tomorrow. You will see them running in the streets.

This is not good manners. Teaching those children in the schools to
say, "Gay and lesbianism is okay." It's not okay. It's not okay to
you and it's not okay to me. They should not say that it's okay.
It's not okay but if they are living then they should live far away
from us. You should live far away from them because prophets came to
teach us to have good manners. Everything that the other people are
doing, their eating, their drinking, their having pleasures, their
having sex, their having children, the way they are having
everything, that's exactly what we are doing too. We are not
separating ourselves from that. But we have limits and we have
borders. We cannot be wild. Anybody who wants to be wild must be in
the wild kingdom. They must be living in the forests with the wild
animals. They should not be living under the name of civilization,
calling themselves the civilized world. What kind of a civilization
is that? What kind of a civil world is that where the man is going
to walk in the streets naked when even the animals are not walking
naked? Have you ever seen dogs taking out their clothes? Or the
sheep taking their skin out? No animal, and every animal has
something to cover themselves. But man wants to run top-speed and
that action happened in 1789 when those Sheytans forced the break
down. And since that time until now it's continuing.

But now time is coming to shut that door again, because Divine Order
is coming down now. No prophets are living, but the representatives
of the prophets are living and Order is coming to them now slowly
saying, "Shut this door to them, shut that door to them, shut this
door to them and put them in jail. Put them in jail inside their own
bodies. Don't give them any peace. Let them to be in depression and
problems twenty-four hours. Either they turn themselves to the Lord
of the Heavens and Earth, or bigger problem is waiting for this
mankind.

And it is a duty, an obligation to everyone who has children, that
if they love their children then they must teach them otherwise than
what they are learning in the schools because those schools now are
teaching completely wrong things to them. And in the houses you must
teach them what are the good manners and how to have good manners.
The children should not address their own fathers and their own
mothers by their names. I am hearing that all the time. You have to
call, "Father" and "Mother," whatever it is that you are going to
call in whichever language. How is it that are you addressing your
fathers and your mothers with their own names? That is the beginning
of bad manners.

Of course, (they say) it's a small thing. Small things. Everything
starts small. Nothing starts big. There was a man in the old times.
He killed someone. He entered to steal and the owner of the house
entered, he found him, they started struggling with each other and
he killed that man, the owner of the house. So they caught him, they
held him, they put him in the prison and they put him to the court.
There was death penalty at that time. Now there is no death penalty
too. The court said, "He did this because of this and this reason
and he should be hanged." And in the old days, in those times, when
a man was going to be hanged, they would ask him, "What is your last
wish in this world?" He said, "I know what I did wrong. That's why I
am sitting here in this situation. I am paying the price for that
and the price is very big, very great. I am paying the price with my
life. I have learned my lesson now but it's too late. I am going to
pay it with my own life. I understood. All these days that I was
sitting in the jail, I thought and I understood that it was my
fault. But I would like you to bring my mother up here. I have to
speak to her about something private before you hang me." They
said, "Is this the last wish you have?" He said, "Yes."

They said, "Although it doesn't fit to our rules and laws, but bring
his mother." They started looking around for her and they brought
his mother. His hands were tied. Mother was crying, "Oh my son!" He
said, "Mother, don't cry. Please, let me be hanged with peace. Don't
cry." (Mother said,} "My son, how am I not going to cry?" He
said, "No, mother. Please, as my last wish, I would like to kiss
your beautiful tongue before they hang me. All these times you were
hugging me and you were kissing me and I want to kiss your tongue
before they hang me. Mother said, "Is this what you want?" He
said, "Yes." She said, "Take it." So he said, "Give it more." He put
it in his mouth and he bit it so hard that he cut that tongue out.
He cut it. He spat it out. They (the guards) said, "What the heck
did you do?"

But it was too late. The King was watching too. He said to
them, "Today I am in this place to be hanged. All the things (that I
am accused of) I did it and I deserve it. But the beginning was
really with that tongue that brought me up here." They said, "What
happened?" He said, "Firstly, I remember the first day when I went
and I stole an egg from the neighbor. I was five years old. I didn't
know anything. I just thought that it was some game. I stole it, I
came home and I showed it to my mother. My mother looked at it and
said, "Oh my son! Where did you find this? You should bring more
when you find." She didn't ask me from where I took it. She didn't
ask me whether I stole it. She convinced me to find more and to
bring more. And because I loved her so much I went searching,
sneaking in everywhere trying to bring more everyday to get her
approval everyday to say, "I love you more." That's what she did to
me and slowly I grew up to become a thief and I learned how to
steal. I stole a lot of things and she knew that I was stealing. She
knew all the while. She knew from the beginning that I stole that
egg. She didn't scream at me and she didn't punish me.

I continued this way until I reached to that man's house. And when
he entered, I didn't want to kill him, but I had no choice because
he was one of the officials. He was going to bring me in and I was
going to be punished. I thought that by killing him I was going to
escape. And this brought me up here. This tongue brought one man to
be hanged and I don't want anybody else to come to be hanged through
that tongue. That's why I cut that tongue. She doesn't need to speak
anymore." They brought that to the King. They said, "Your Majesty,
this is what happened, and the man is ready, and he is begging us to
hang him." So the King says, "I am not hanging him. For that reason,
put him in jail. He is not going to be hanged."

So why are we bringing this up? Nothing comes to people's heads in
their lives just like that. If you and I are sitting here everyday,
we are 90% far away from troubles, from fighting, from argument or
killing each other. If we don't sit here and we go to a club or a
bar every night then it is 90% certain that we are going to end up
fighting one night when we are drunk. We don't know what that
fighting is going to bring to us and we don't know where that
fighting is going to bring us.

So it's the man who does everything to himself. That's why man is
responsible for every action. That's why man is responsible for his
children until they reach to the age of maturity. When they reach to
the age of maturity and they are not listening after that, you are
not responsible. But until (the children's) maturity age, the man is
responsible. And maturity age in Islam for boys is 16 years old and
for girls 13 years old. You will be responsible through those girls
until thirteen years of age. After thirteen years old if they do
something wrong, in the Judgment Day you are not going to be
questioned. They are going to be questioned. For boys you are
responsible up to sixteen years of age. For whatever they do, they
are going to be questioned and you are going to be questioned on the
Judgment Day.

The governments are not questioning. Let's say a child went and
killed somebody. In the old days they would say, "Where is the
father and mother. Bring them to the jail too. What was this kid
doing out at this time? Why didn't you look after this kid? Oh,
okay." In these days (they say,) "The kid did it." Of course. Some
people buy the kids and they make them to go to do the crime because
the kinds are going to be punished very little. They are bought by
their parents. They say, "We are going to give you this much money.
Let the kid to go and kill somebody. For three years he is going to
stay inside and three years later he is going to come out."
It's big money.

The Shariat, the law of Islam is stopping and closing the doors for
wrong activities. And wrong activity is not only that, but stopping
it in every way, and especially today the relationship between men
and women. So the kids must know this too in these days. They must
know that there are so many wrong things happening in this world and
they should prepare themselves for that world that is waiting and
that is very wild. We should prepare them and ourselves. We should
know how to watch and how to protect. Watching is protecting.
Protecting your children is not to give them everything they want.
Sometimes it is to give them things that they don't want and
sometimes not to give them things that they want, because those
things that they want are not good for them for the future time.

So Holy Prophet (saw) came to this world to complete the good
manners. People should learn up to this time (of maturity) these
manners and right after they should learn how to have the best of
the manners because he came to teach people the best of the manners.
The better manners people have the higher they go in spiritual
stations and spiritual levels. If a man recites the Qur'an twenty-
four hours a day, if the man prays all night long going to Sejdah
but if the man does not have manner, he is not reaching anywhere.
There is a big possibility that he is not entering into Paradise.
But if a man doesn't know anything, he's just going to Sejdah,
reading with sincerity and he has good manners, every door may open
to that man. That man may become a saint very easily. But if a man
knows everything, recites the Qur'an everyday, he does everything
and he doesn't have good manners, the doors of hell will open to
that one.

So everything is with good manners and we should look to prepare
ourselves and our children for that because we are believers and
because we are not only living for this world. We are living in this
world for Akhirat. We need this world to live nicely and comfortably
in it to be able to worship and to do things properly for Akhirat.
This is not our house. This is only a temporary place that we are
staying. This is not my house and not your house. Your house is not
your house. You are just there temporarily. You are going to go to
your original house. Your original house is not in Dunya. It is in
Akhirat. It is in Paradise. Don't lose the address. Your original
house is Paradise. It's not hell. Their originality is Paradise but
the majority (of the people) is running to the hell side. And the
hell will say, "Your originality is not for this place. But you have
come. Enter. What can I do?" The road to both of them is from this
world. The road to Paradise is from this world and the road to hell
is from this world. In everything we do, we must have good
intentions and we must have sincere intentions to do things for the
sake of Allah. If we have that as priority in our lives then the
result is going to be good.

Wa min Allahu taufiq

Bihurmatil Habib

Bihurmatil Fatiha.

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Transcribed by Nakshobondi@yahoo.com